High School Musical 3: The Parody
by TinyDancer14
Summary: It's Senior Year at East High and your favorite gang of wonderfully messed up characters are back. Look out for dyslexia, drug abuse, and special guest appearances by some super secret Disney Stars! Oh and prom too. Enjoy!


**We're backkkkk! Rules? Psh no thank you. Let's just make this easy on everybody, don't like; don't read; don't report. We promise not to make fun of your writing either. Alright, good. In case anyone's wondering, our other two parodies got deleted after SOMEBODY reported them for being chat scripted.**

**So we missed you all. Well, maybe not all of you. Just our truest fans. Welcome back! We still don't own anything... and enjoy!**

**(B T Dubs, there will be some making fun of the Jonas Brothers. If you're sensitive to this kind of mockery... we don't care.)**

* * *

Chapter One: Now or Later

(Scene: The movie begins with a ridiculous close up of Troy Bolton. He is sweaty and gross and just a mess really. Then he shakes his icky hair around like a wet dog and yells some stuff in slow motion)

Troy: Leeeeettttt'ssss GOOOOOOOOOO! (The camera zooms out and we can see that Troy is in the middle of...a basketball game! Yes!)

Chad: Oh my god! We're down twenty points, we'll never catch up with those rascally West High Knights!

Troy: Well man we gotta try! Leeeeettttt'ssssss GOOOOOOO!

Chad: Dude, your incessant shouting is ruining my hair! Calm down.

(The buzzer rings or buzzes or whatever onomatopoeia type sound it makes and the team files in to the locker room for an uplifting pep talk)

Coach Jack: We'll...we're pretty much screwed out there so...I don't know whatever you guys wanna do is aigh't with me. So get on out there and make me proud! Also I've provided you all with a catchy little tune here, so just warble out some of these here lines and we'll probably win!

Jason: Well, actually playing the game hasn't worked so far so...it's worth a shot! WHAT TEAM?

Team: (Hitting a perfect E flat) WIIILD CAAATSS!

Chad: (Angry) That was so my line.

(The team files out onto the field, they are considerably more pumped up than they should be given the context of their 'pep talk', but we'll let that slide.)

Zeke: Sixteen, sixteen, sixteen minutes left- better light up! (He passes out- effects of years of smoke inhalation.)

Jason: Sixteen, sixteen, sixteen more minutes! Get ready! GAME ON!

Chad: Sixteen more minutes- and I'm number one!

Troy: Sixteen! Seventeen! Eighteen! Nineteen! ... I forgot what comes next.

Coach Jack: C'mon guys! Take it to the chorus, don't forget the bridge now!

Troy: Leeeeet'sssssss GOOOOOOOO TEAAAAMMMMM!!!

Chad: Really? Really?

Troy: This is the one time to get it right! This is a chance to get it right!

Chad: For once.

Troy: We gotta show that we're all about...

Chad: Hair!

Zeke: Drugs!

Jason: Actually being in this movie!

Troy: Ourselves, I guess... This is a chance to make our mark! History might know who we are. It's just one game- who really cares? Now or later!

Wildcat Cheerleaders- led by Martha: W! I! L! D! Wild Thang!

Martha: (Sultrily) You make my heart sanggg!

Team: Give me the ball! Give me the ball! Give me the ball!

Troy: (Possessively clinging to the basketball) NO! You will _not_ touch Xavier!!

(De repente, a West High Knight player dives for the ball, but misses and takes Martha out. They wrestle around on the floor for a while- confused and disoriented.)

Troy: (Running over and kneeling beside them) Tap out! Tap out!!

Asian Martha: (Entering the scene) I'll take over! I am trained in the art of sumo!

Troy: I can see that you have this under control. (While walking back onto the arena he slips and falls) Damn dyslexia!

Chad: Gotta get inside down low in the paint now!

Gabriella: TROYYYYYYYYYYYY! I'd like to get down low in the paint with you anytime!

(Magically the score is now tied! Whoa!)

Coach Jack: (To Troy) Just get the ball to Chad, you hear me? CHAD!

Troy: Aye Aye Papi!

Jason: This is the one time to get it right! This is a chance to get it right!

Team: Now or later!

Zeke: We gotta show that we're all about...

Team: NOW!

Zeke: But mostly later!

Troy: (Takes the ball and dribbles down the court) Now or later! Now or later!! (He contemplates who to give the ball to, glances at the clock- 10 seconds left, OMJ!- and stops.) Did he say Chad? Maybe I should give it to Brad...

Chad: TROY!! THE BALL!!

Troy: (Still thinking) Maybe he said I should give it to Dad... but that doesn't make sense because he _is_ my dad.... Hmm...

Chad: GIVE THE BALL, GODDAMMIT!

Troy: Well, since I can't remember, I'll just pass it off. (Jason runs by) Here ya go, Jason!

Jason: (He stares at the ball in his hands, glances at the clock, and shoots the ball towards the hoop..... IT GOES IN!! WILDCATS WINNNNNN!!!) I AM A WINNER!

(The crowd roars!!! Chad is infuriated.)

Chad: Jack said give _me_ the ball, you idiot!

Troy: .... But you're not my Dad.

* * *

(It's time for the after party! Troy sits behind the wheel of his old, beaten-up truck as Chad pushes it helplessly down the road.)

Troy: (Turning the wheel sharply to the left and then the right) WEEE! I'm driving! I'm drivingggg!!

Chad: (Grunting) You're not driving- I'm pushing you!

Troy: (Singing way out of tune) I go from zero to sixty in 3.5!! Baby, I've got the keeeeyyyyssss! Now shut up and drive! Driveeee, driveeee, driveeeeeeeee!

Chad: This kid's not gonna make it to see eighteen.

Troy: (Turning the wheel to the left) Party over here!

Chad: (Screams as the car gets out of his control and swerves) Whaaaaaat are you doing?

Troy: (Turning the wheel to the right) I CAN FEEL THE WINDDDDD BENEATH MY WINGSSSSSS!!

Chad: We're here now, please get out. Before I get in and run you over.

(The party is booming! People are shaking it! There's confetti, streamers, and food! And.... The Jon-Ass Brothers?? THEY'RE ROCKIN' IT!)

Gayvin: Okay, so hey guysss- just because I'm getting married, doesn't mean you have to be jealous of me!

Dick: You're getting married?

Hoe: They finally legalized gay marriage in New Mexico???

Troy: (Boppin' to the bumpin' beats) Turn it up! Turn it up!

Gabriella: Ah Troy you crack me up, pretending to like the Jon-Ass Brothers!

Kelsi: (She's DJ-ing, Samantha Ronson style) CRACK? Where?!

Troy: Actually Dick has Type One Bulimia, Hoe is a serial dater; he's been through most of young Hollywood! And they legalized gay marriage! So it's good news for my buddy Gayvin.

Gabriella: Um... you've got that all-

Troy: Wanna go up to my tree house? I built it yesterday all by myself!

Gabriella: (Glancing up at the four planks of wood and tiny rope ladder) You call this a tree house?

Troy: Mom said I had to live out here for a little while... it's like my home away from home! Except it's behind my home... not really away...

Gabriella: (In efforts to shut him up) Yeah! Let's go up there!

(They climb up the tree and settled on the edge of the house. They're awkwardly sitting with each other, avoiding gazes.)

Troy: So... you like the game?

Gabriella: What game?

Troy: The tennis game we played. It's pretty cool I'm goin' to the U.S. Open, huh?

Gabriella: The what?

Troy: Anyway, the coach is down there, talkin' to Coach Jack. My dad. Did I just say that?

Gabriella: Say what? No, I don't think you said anything.

Troy: So what do you wanna do??

Gabriella: (Smiling seductively) We could make out a little, maybe have sex...

Troy: (Blushing) You're so sweet!

Gabriella: I could give you something sweet...

Troy: (Jumping up excitedly) I love Now and Laters!!


End file.
